Do you notice how sand has a way of getting into everything? I am irritated & pleased with it, leftover sand in my shoes weeks after a beach trip makes me smile. It also scratches floors, is hard to get rid of, & makes my son rub his eyes in frustration.
I took H camping a couple of weeks ago to Nehalem Bay. It’s a great place, a short walk from a very beautiful beach, standard camp sites with a picnic table, faucet, hook up, & fire pit. When people asked me about how it went I answered, there were highs & lows. I think I’ll wait another year before trying it again!
I have a friend who has five kids, whom I’ve shared about those highs & lows with. She says, they are just doing their job. Your job is to point them towards right instead of wrong.
I had a dream a couple of nights ago that H kept going missing. I would walk with him & then he would be gone. I would retrace my steps, searching for him everywhere & frantically. I would find him & the whole thing would happen again. It was one of those unpleasant dreams you wake yourself up from. Those in the middle of the night moments of terror when your mind is most likely to play false tricks.
Some highs & lows:
High: Waking up with my son’s blue eyes peeping at me in wonder when we woke up in the tent.
Low: We woke at 6am to birds screeching.
High: Train ride!
Low: Train ride at nap time!
Low: Child picks chocolate out of s’more to eat & then yells/cries about sticky marsh mellow all over hands.
High: Running through the ocean with glee, not wanting to stop when with parents.
Low: Refuses to have anything to do with water while with Mama only.
High: Not being in a controlled environment.
Low: Not being in a controlled environment.
But what is life without these highs & lows? Wouldn’t it be boring if he did exactly what I wanted him to all the time? And my reaction is parallel to how much I am in acceptance in that moment. I find myself constantly praying to be a better mother, to make the right decisions when I’m with him. I wonder if he’ll remember this one night flurry of a camping trip when he is older. Aren’t many Summer trips filled with such a juxtaposition of rampant emotions?
We cut our trip a day short because it was supposed to rain. I wasn’t about to deal with that presumed low. It worked out, we ended up going to Cannon Beach on our way home & spent the day with my parents & H’s cousins.
We head out to Idaho next week, thankfully to indoor sleeping spaces to visit with my aunt & uncle. I know there will be highs & lows & I look forward to them.
Summer 2016 is starting out on the right foot. I am grateful for all that it has been so far in the past couple weeks. Wishing/praying/hoping that you will be provided much grace for whichever elevation you are walking upon in this present moment.